The Bratty Princess: Playing the Power Game from Below

Topping from the Bottom

In the dynamic world of BDSM, power exchange can be a fundamental aspect of the experience. While traditionally the dominant partner takes the lead, there’s a subset where the submissive partner influences the scene from below, often referred to as “topping from the bottom.” This nuanced form of interaction allows the submissive to guide, negotiate, and even control the direction of the play or dynamic. 

Part-time Brat Full-time Princess

Topping from the bottom, or ‘princess behaviour’, involves a submissive partner exerting influence over the scene while ostensibly being in the submissive role. This doesn’t mean undermining the dominant, but rather guiding the experience in a way that meets their own needs and desires over that of their Dominants. Consider the following example:

“Can you spank me, but with the soft flogger over my white gym knickers, but not too hard. Will you be gentle, then work up to what you think I can handle, (like you did the other day) but stroke me afterwards, I love that! I can count if you like… Shall I bend over there? Whatever you do, no cane! Oh, shall I call you Sir?” 

This captures the essence of topping from the bottom. It’s not merely a request, but a series of subtle commands and preferences to guide the dominant’s actions while maintaining the façade of submission.

The Psychology 

Topping from the bottom is not just a tactical manoeuvre, but a psychological strategy as well. For many submissives, it provides a sense of control within the framework of surrender. This paradoxical position allows them to express their desires clearly and shape the experience without overtly breaking the agreed-upon roles. This interaction can lead to a more nuanced and satisfying experience for both parties, as it combines the thrill of domination with the comfort of a tailored and ‘safe’ experience.

However, this dynamic can also mean that neither partner fully steps outside their comfort zone or adheres strictly to traditional roles. The dominant partner, in turn, may passively allow or even encourage the bratty behaviour. Yet for others deeply engaged in power exchange dynamics, another concept comes into play: consensual non-consent (CNC). CNC involves the submissive granting prior consent for the dominant to lead in ways that might push boundaries or challenge limits. This approach allows for a deeper exploration of trust and power dynamics, but it requires absolute trust from both parties. The rewards of building such a dynamic can be profound, offering experiences that are often beyond verbal description.

Practical Examples 

A practical example of topping from the bottom might involve a submissive partner setting specific boundaries and preferences, as illustrated in the quote above. This could include choosing the implements used, the intensity of the play, or the exact location where they want the action to take place. By clearly communicating these preferences, the submissive partner is not only ensuring their own pleasure and safety but also providing the dominant with valuable feedback, which can enhance the overall dynamic.

The Balance of Power and Negotiation

Effective topping from the bottom requires a delicate balance of power and negotiation. It’s essential for the submissive to communicate their needs and boundaries clearly, without overstepping the dominant’s role. This dynamic is often negotiated in advance and adjusted during play, ensuring that both partners are satisfied and engaged. By maintaining open communication and mutual respect, this approach can enrich the BDSM experience, making it more fulfilling and dynamic for both partners.

However, this type of dynamic may not satisfy those seeking a more traditional sense of power, control, and submission. It ultimately comes down to individual preference, experience, and personal comfort levels. Personally, I feel such controlling behaviour undermines and invalidates the core of power exchange, leading to a continuous negotiation of roles rather than a consensual exploration of dominance and submission.

However, embracing the bratty princess role can enhance communication and customisation of the BDSM experience, allowing for a playful, but safe interaction that still adds excitement and exploration of power dynamics within an unspoken agreement. It provides a way to express desires clearly and engage actively in shaping the scene. 

Yet this approach may blur traditional power roles, potentially leading to confusion or discomfort for those who prefer a more straightforward dominance and submission dynamic. It can also undermine the dominant’s authority and inhibit the submissive from fully surrendering.

Ultimately, whether to adopt this role depends on individual preferences and how well it fits with both partners’ dynamics and goals.

The Princess Paradox

One might wonder if the Princess emerges when she feels conflicted. Could her rebellious behaviour mask discomfort with her own submission? Is there a need to counterbalance one trait with its opposite to achieve equilibrium? Perhaps, on a deeper level, she rejects part of the dynamic as a natural defence mechanism. Alternatively, she might crave attention and test boundaries, but in a manner that feels safer where she controls the narrative. Often, the Princess will also employ humour, though it’s important to remember, many a true word is spoken in jest.

Love her or loathe her, the bratty Princess is likely to remain a compelling archetype in power exchange dynamics, in one form or another. While some may thrive on the challenge she presents, others might find her behaviour frustrating or uncooperative. Similarly, some may relish in her playful defiance, whereas others might prefer a more compliant approach.

This spectrum of reactions underscores the rich and diverse nature of human experience and desires. It’s this variety that makes our interactions endlessly fascinating, multilayered and complex, reflecting the profound depth and wonder of human nature.